Stimulation Envy - the first Chapter of my new Book!

Hello!

What follows is the first chapter from my new book:

Cheap

Awful

Lovely

"Stories of Passion and Porn on the Edge of the Land of Dreams"

www.CheapAwfulLovely.com 

Please visit the site for more information & get your copy today!

STIMULATION ENVY

Man, I wish I had a Clitoris.

 

Seriously.

 

I don't think I got the news about the clitoris until I was well into my 30s. I mean, sure, growing up as a boy, there were all sorts of hints that this was something important about women - like a secret men had to figure out - a mysterious hidden treasure that a woman would insist a man find somehow. Clit, button, bean - all sorts of curious names for this inscrutable woman thing lodged somewhere around the babymaker. And when I became a man, I would need to know the answer to this mystery or I would never truly please a woman.

 

Fortunately, early in my life, I saw the advent of cable television, VCRs, and the rise of Home Entertainment, which meant the introduction of easier access to this thing called porn. Suddenly, the category of Adult Entertainment became available in various houses on a variety of occasions and this was just another of the many benefits of being an American.

 

How well I remember pausing on the very close up image of a fully aroused vagina and identifying this enigmatic clitoris for a friend of mine, as if I had actually personally seen such a thing several times before and fully understood its power. What I could barely comprehend at the time, paused in its glistening bloom on a video screen for casual commentary, was how very overwhelming facing such a sight up close and for real would actually be for me - how alluring, captivating and demanding of attention.

 

As a fumbling, bumbling, overeager yet so very well intentioned young lad, slapping flapping groping and poking around in unfamiliar territory, I can't say I ever had any idea of what I was doing or what was to be done. Practical sexual education is sorely lacking in this country - at least it was when I was growing up - but I had some patient lovers and even some real women of experience who seemed bemused by the idea of me settled between their legs and learning their anatomy.

 

Boys have to become Men after all, and there is always a good woman out there with a certain kindness for leading the wayward lamb towards the golden path.

 

Everyone has their preferences, of course, but when asked, most women will say that they are more aroused by stimulation of the clitoris than actual penetration.

 

But what does that even mean?

 

There are so many little parts encompassing one overall area that seem pretty well stimulated no matter what you do. Even though I understood that paying attention to technique was something that would also be expected of me, it took awhile for me to understand why it was so important to be hitting that button and flipping that switch. For the most part I thought I was doing fine.

 

The actual core function of the clitoris remained a mystery to me well into my adult life.

 

It was a British game show, of all things, that lifted the veil quite unexpectedly. A trivia show covering a variety of topics, and not nearly so prudish as American television, where simply saying "vagina" can cause a tsunami of outrage over the "smut" being forced upon some uptight cunt's allegedly defenseless children.

 

The show I saw was a rerun that had been recorded when the field of science still had some respectability here in the States. A sidebar conversation amongst the guests provided my first true revelation, and like most things related to sex, apparently it's common knowledge. It's just nothing we talk about in detail where I come from, so I never heard of it before.

 

Here are a couple of loose facts I vaguely remember:

 

1 - The human female is amongst a few species of animals that possess a clitoris. In fact, having a clitoris is a very rare and unique thing in nature. With the google, I see here it says all mammals have one, and it looks like the research into this mysterious field of scientific exploration is strong and ongoing, which I fully support.

 

Did you know snakes have two penises...?

 

Ugh. Internet.

 

2 - The sole purpose of the clitoris is to provide sexual stimulation for the female to facilitate successful procreation. What we see and flick and kiss is actually only the visible part of a highly sensitive nerve cluster that spreads its tendrils throughout the female body, providing a fully realized sensual experience that is emphasized by the ability to have multiple, prolonged, body shaking orgasms that can lead to a state of insensibility, and even induce unconsciousness.

 

I was thunderstruck. So many things suddenly made sense.

 

Memories of similarly expressive faces cascading across different places and times momentarily blurred my senses like a stroke. Each of them indicated similar affirmations - a certain smile, a reflexive posture or reaction, pushing me out and off, rolling and curling up, remarking how their whole body was tingling.

 

I used to wonder what that meant - their body tingling - I just accepted it as some sort of acknowledgement of a job well done that was fairly consistent. Said too often to be dismissed as some offhand praise to appease my own fragile ego. But then again, when I come, my body doesn't tingle. It's more like a wave that crashes and passes. Sometimes it knocks me down, sometimes I keep swimming.

 

But now I knew. It wasn't me causing the tingling. It was the Clitoris. Any man who knew how to do what I did could satisfy her, make her whole body tingle, whatever that meant. I mean, technically that was always the case, but now I was aware of another layer of communication that my partner may be keeping from me - an intimate pleasure I had yet to satisfy, possibly. They might seem satisfied but were they really? Maybe she didn't need me, but if I could keep ring-ting-tingling that bell just right maybe she'd keep me around.

 

Suddenly, the confidence of satisfying my Lover became even more precarious. Like watching a familiar play, it's not really the story, but the nuances during the performance that make the show. I wanted my girl dialed in, not channel surfing.

 

The most I've ever come in one night with a very responsive girl was five times, and that night made a dent in the early dawn. That girl and others, though, have told me that they have had as many orgasms in as many minutes, depending on what was being done at the time.

 

Even more interesting to contemplate was that the female orgasm is not exclusively centered on stimulation of the clitoris. It just so happens that the clitoris is there in addition to every other pleasure sensor, and it happens to be there exclusively for a woman's sexual pleasure.

 

Do you understand what I am telling you?

 

Women have something men will never possess. And what they possess gives them a certain knowledge of existence that we, as men, can never fully comprehend. We know it. They know it. And if we want to continue progressing society, civilization and the Future of Humanity, it is our obligation as Men to at least attempt to appease and understand what to do with this thing which we will never fully, truly comprehend.

 

We will never truly understand the complete bliss and sense of fulfillment - the sense of gratification - that only the clitoris can give to a woman. Our only Hope is to give our partner this gratification so that they might remain our partner, and not seek someone else with a better understanding of how to appease this power. Our very sense of survival requires it. We must demonstrate knowledge of the clitoris sufficient to provide gratification to appease the woman.

 

Better than sufficient. Consistent. On Demand. But before my jealous ranting spirals further out of control, this is what I want. I want to know this degree of gratification. This completeness of sensual stimulation that only women will ever be gifted to know.

 

I want a clitoris.

 

Science has been used to expand our knowledge of the world, accomplish amazing feats and help people create things that began their existence solely in the realm of imagination. It can put a man on the moon and even impregnate him. But it cannot replicate the magnificent, awe-inspiring power of the Clitoris.

 

Which means that no matter what I do, I will never fully experience what it feels like to be a woman. The technology may eventually get close, but even a simulation is merely a substitute for the real thing. Not that I need to have the whole package, but why can't I have a clitoris too?

 

I mean, I understand about making babies - long before I understood the miracle that is the clitoris - you've got the menstrual cycle and having to worry about getting knocked up. Then there's the nine months of getting fat while your body chemistry is pinging all over the place making you even crazier than normal day to day crazy, I get it.

 

This is what it means to possess the Power of Creation. Being entrusted with ensuring Humanity's Future. This is something you do as a part of your natural biological function and it sucks.

 

You can keep that.

 

Recognize, though, that right there are two things women are naturally born with - the power to create life and to experience the greatest sexual gratification possible in the world - two things that women experience and understand about existence men will never know. And if we, as men, don't do one thing right we won't get the other and our whole species dies. But that's a whole other subject I'm not going into right now.

 

So.

 

As compensation for all of those woes that come with managing and protecting their Power of Creation, women have the Clitoris. An anatomical gift few men understand, and no man can ever truly possess.

 

Multiple, prolonged, body-shaking orgasms. Overwhelming to the point of unconsciousness. Sexual gratification so profound and complete that women can become addicted like heroin junkies.

 

That's what I want.

 

They can keep the moon cycle and the gestation period and all that chemically induced hysteria that comes with the body they're born in; but the ability to experience the Greatest Orgasm of any living creature on the planet?

 

I would love to know what that feels like. Just once. Or maybe twice. Or maybe multiple times until I pass out, I don't know.

 

I'm just saying if it's possible I'd be interested.

©Brad Havens, August 2026

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